My Precious

I've never been a very outgoing person. It takes me a considerable amount of time to warm up to new people that I meet. I'm not a snob or anything. I'm actually quite nice and pleasant. But I don't let people into my life that easily. It would take a while before I allow someone to cross the boundary from "stranger" to "acquaintance," and then from "acquaintance" to "friend." It's not surprising that I only have a handful of people in my inner circle that I consider as really close friends. These people are my chosen ones: those special individuals who have the rare ability to make me laugh, cry, and feel happy and blessed just by having them in my life. They are the people who make me feel good about myself, who have proven that they always have my back and my best interests at heart. They are the people that I cherish the most, that I won't be able to live without. They are God's gifts to me.

In the first quarter of this year, I moved from one job to another. Sadly, I had to leave behind a bunch of dear friends who were my colleagues at my former place of employment. I missed them terribly and we promised to keep in touch, which we did by way of emails, social networking, and text messages. We were always making plans to meet up for lunch or dinner, a weekend brunch or a movie date, but none of those plans materialized. Life happened, we got caught up with our busy schedules, and before we knew it, half a year had gone by without us seeing each other's faces. Although I am happier now with my new job and I've met a new group of colleagues with whom I get along with superbly, I still can't help but feel lonely whenever I remember my girlfriends. I used to see them everyday at the office, eat lunch with them during breaks, and we used to share details of our lives with each other. They've become like sisters to me, but now we only get to text or chat online during weekends.

When I realized that the main reason I was feeling down these past couple of weeks was because I haven't seen my friends for a looooong time, I immediately sent them text messages and emails full of "drama". They responded quickly, and we were able to make last-minute arrangements to meet up for a Saturdate yesterday. I was so delighted to see them again, and all the months apart didn't put a toll on our friendship at all. It's amazing how we picked up where we left off, as if it was only the day before when we last saw each other. We did what we loved doing together best: EATING! Aside from filling our stomachs with yummy food, it was also a gabfest as we filled each other in with the latest stories in our lives. At the end of the day, we were all tired from walking around the mall, talking nonstop, laughing out loud, and just generally monkeying around. But it was one of the happiest Saturdays of the year for me so far. Before parting ways, we promised that our next get-together won't take another half-year. And I'm intent on keeping that promise!

Here's a touching video that my dear friend Bei did when I was about to resign from my previous company:

"True friends don't say goodbye. they just take extended leaves of absence from each other." ~ Bea


..so after half a year of an extended leave of absence, here's my joyful reunion with two of my most precious gals! :D

Saturdate lunch @ TGIFriday's Trinoma, and yummy desserts @ Parvati

Love Affair with Books

When I was growing up, I was very shy and not so keen on meeting new people. I liked keeping to myself, usually just reading or writing in a corner. To an outside observer, I may have looked like a very lonely kid, but the truth is I was at my happiest when I was all by myself, with only my thoughts and musings to keep me company. It was during those peaceful moments of "aloneness" when I can let my imagination soar, dream and plan my life ahead, figure out what I want to do with my time here on earth.

My favorite haunt back then was the library at my old school. It was situated at the fifth level of an old building on the school grounds, and that building didn't have an elevator. You would have to be a very determined student to brave the five flights of stairs up to the library, and this is exactly why it's one of my favorite places in the whole campus--it's usually deserted. Only a handful of students can be found up there on any given day. I used to pretend that I owned the place, and I prowled the aisles of books like a boss. I spent most of my free time in high school and college up there, combing the shelves and hunting for interesting reads.

The thing is, my mother didn't approve of me reading fiction. Whenever she caught me with a novel in hand at home, she would click her tongue and comment that I'm just filling my head with make-believe stories. The only kinds of books she approved of were my school textbooks. But fiction is one of my first loves, so I had to find a way to continue my love affair with literature without upsetting my mother. Aside from turning the school library into my second home, I also learned to sneak rented books into the house behind her back. At night, I would pretend to be asleep until my whole family went to bed. As soon as all the lights in the house were out, I would turn on my flashlight and read in bed throughout the night. It's not surprising that I developed poor eyesight later on in life, and now I have to wear eyeglasses or contact lenses all the time. But I have no regrets even if  had to sacrifice my 20-20 vision due to reading in poor lighting conditions. Back then I thought it was so cool of me, being a rebellious little devil and defying my mother's orders under her own roof. I devoured all the thick tomes of American and English literature, Penguin Paperback Classics and Reader's Digest issues that I checked out from the library. I also rented Archie's comics, Sweet Valley High series, Babysitters' Club, Fear Street and Goosebumps horror novels, and Love Stories series from the local bestseller's book store. I had to scrimp and save my meager lunch money to afford the book rental, but it was all worth the trouble.

Looking back now, I realized that most of the interesting books I have read as a young girl were either borrowed from the library, rented, or lent to me by my college best friend who had such an extensive collection of books at her house. I couldn't even afford to buy my own copy of the Harry Potter books that I adored as a teenager so I just borrowed from my classmates. That is why as soon I started earning my own money after college, I also began building my book collection. As of today, I'm the proud momma of a modest bookshelf overflowing with all the books that I love. Since I'm no longer a child, my mother can no longer dictate to me what I can and cannot read. So I make it a point to purchase at least one new book every payday. Someday, I'm going to build a house with a large library in it, and I'd spend countless rainy Sunday mornings there, cooped up in a window seat with a book in one hand and a steaming mug of coffee in the other.

From Google Images

"In books I have traveled, not only to other worlds, but into my own."

High School Drama

I was confined at home on a Saturday night due to a combo of flu and pharyngitis. After emerging from a 12-hour, medication-induced coma, I found myself sitting in front of the television and watching the Saturday night episode of PBB Teen Edition. PBB is acronym for Pinoy Big Brother (the Filipino franchise of the popular reality show). If watching a group of individuals sitting around and occasionally dancing, arguing, playing while trapped in a big house wasn't bad enough, this version of the show showcases teenage housemates. This is going to be interesting, I thought. A dozen or so hormonal girls and boys, living under one roof, free from parental control, with cameras religiously capturing their every gesture to validate their attention-starved egos..there's bound to be lots and lots of drama here! Sure enough, the show exceeded my expectations. I was able to sit through 10 minutes of it before I crawled back to my room, repulsed by the teen drama I just witnessed. Why am I so affected? Mainly because it reminded me vaguely of my own high school days.

I know this would sound so unoriginal, but I consider my stint in high school as the worst 4 years of my life. On hindsight, it wasn't that bad though. It was during high school when I met some of the friends that I know would be in my life forever, including my best friend. I also met my soul mate--the man I'll spend the rest of my life with--on the first day of high school (although back then we didn't have any inkling that we'd end up together, but that's another story.) Looking back to it all, I can now laugh goodnaturedly and tell myself that it's no big deal, that I survived despite my teenage awkwardness and emo tendencies. However, I can still remember how it felt like. Somehow, while I was still there and experiencing it all, it felt like hell for me. I hated every moment of it.

If I could go back in time, I'd definitely go back to high school to give the 12-year-old me a lecture on how to survive the next four years without getting scarred for life.

Don't be too hard on yourself. It's good to study hard but it's not a mortal sin to have fun once in a while. Some of the most important lessons you will learn in life are not from the pages of a textbook or written on the classroom whiteboard by a professor who looks eerily like Einstein. Open yourself up to new experiences, don't confine yourself inside your self-made box.

You will learn through your mistakes. While still figuring out who you are and what your place in the world is, you'd sometimes make a fool of yourself, go through painful humiliation and commit social suicide. The good news is that you'll live. You will get over it. In a few years' time you'd be able to reminisce and just laugh at how silly you were when you thought it was the end of the world just because your frenemy let it slip in front of the whole class who your secret crush was.

Don't be such a nerd. Although being cool and popular is not the singularly most important achievement at this stage, if you could avoid looking and acting like a big dork, then that would help you heaps. You may have convinced yourself that your mental aptitude is way above the high school drama that everybody else is preoccupied with, but when you go to college and study Psychology, you'd realize that you only hated the guts of all those pretty, popular girls because you were secretly jealous of all the attention they were getting.

Don't be too obsessed with the future. I know it's tough being in that not-a-kid-anymore-but-not-an-adult-yet phase, but if you keep on looking ahead and wishing it would all be over, you'd miss out on a lot of things. Take time and smell the roses, enjoy being a teen, goof around with your friends, fall in "puppy" love, make fun of the teachers behind their backs. Before you know it, four years have gone by and you'll be stunned to realize that you will miss all the crazy retards in your class after all. So make the most out of this stage in your life when the most complicated problem you'd face is just finding the value of x if 2x - y = 13/8y + 69.

Oh, if I only knew all these nuggets of wisdom back when I was a teenager, it would have saved me a great deal of drama and stress!

“It was only high school after all, definitely one of the most bizarre periods in a person’s life. How anyone can come through that time well adjusted on any level is an absolute miracle.” 
― E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly