Mmmbopped in the Head

Been on crazy fangirl mode now for the past two days, watching old music videos and interviews and documentaries from the Hanson heydays. Blame it on the fact that Taylor Hanson just recently celebrated his thirtieth birthday. I mean, WTF!? He's 30 already? Then realizing that in less than two years I will be turning that age too. Surreal! It's crazy how I often neglect to realize that time does not stop spinning in this universe. Haha! I'm always stuck in the 90's and early 2000's, maybe because those were the simpler days, and everything was better than they are today, especially the music! Oh my gosh, I just can't stop raving about how the years have passed by like on super speed! Look:

Proof that our teenage loves stay with us forever.

That beautiful boy that I swooned over when I was thirteen is now an uber-handsome guy who has a wife and five kids yet still manages to disarm me with those eyes!

Ok, I think I need to stop now. Hmmm..but I think a couple more videos won't hurt, right?

Breathing (A Fragmented Tale)

from nothingness came existence

a brief period of tranquil, then chaos

pitter..patter..pitter..patter came the rain

it slid down rooftops, onto the ground, turning into mud

mud that clung to her shoes on that uneventful day

by uneventful we mean the usual, monotonous grind of an existence going nowhere

a crack of thunder welcomed our heroine to a dull friday morning

we didn't say heroine to imply that she is somebody who saves people's lives by means of extraordinary deeds

we are merely indicating that she is the focal point of this tale

she can't even keep her own life in an organized pattern

so, on with the show:

she got up from bed, but not immediately after waking

she got up 45 minutes after the said thunder interrupted her sleep and her pleasant dream

in the dream she was sitting in the midst of a tulip field, with a windmill on the background and cows grazing nearby

she was having a picnic all by herself, reading an interesting book while sipping hot coffee

it was a ridiculous dream but she hoped it had gone on and on, because who knows, it might have been better if it were longer

but enough of that dream..

her mother had yelled herself hoarse during that 45 minutes that she had been lying awake in bed, thinking about ridiculous dreams

it's time for her to get up

15 minutes to eight

by 9 she was dressed for school and ready to leave

but her class begins at half past eight, so by the time she gets to school it would be almost over 

she thought about the future

will she always be late for everything? 

what if she wasn't there yet when the important things in her life are actually happening? 

what if she missed out on all the things that she was supposed to experience? 

mud clung to her shoes, but she didn't care

she began to run

she needs to get somewhere..fast

anywhere but the place where she's in right now

she needs to get there, or they'll leave

everyone will go away and she will be left nursing a ridiculous dream 

so she ran and ran and ran..

then lights flashed and tires screeched and she cannot run anymore

mud clung to her body

five kilometers away the statistics professor was calling her name from his class record

she is always late for the important things..

maybe next time she''ll be there to deliver her report about analysis of variance

she is a little silly, but she's got a lot going on in her little head

and now she is slipping from existence to nothingness..

from chaos to a lasting tranquil

and pitter..patter..pitter..patter went the rain.

By: Lelel

(c) 2002

A Summer Afternoon's Dream

Sick, holed up in my room and drowsy with meds, I started to doze off in the heat of the summer afternoon. Suspended in that blissful state in between waking and dreaming, my mind began to conjure sensations that weren't actually present.

A delicious breeze blew over me, bringing with it the smell of the ocean. Then came the music of rustling leaves, so I envisioned the mango, santol, langka, kamias and aratilis trees in our yard dancing and swaying with the wind. I heard the typical background noise of my childhood afternoon siestas long ago--the sound of the walis tingting as Mama sweeped the fallen dried leaves from the grounds outside, around the house.

I settled into a light and peaceful nap, lulled by the old familiar comforts of home. From a far-off crevice in my mind, I am aware that these are mere delusions, designed by my brain to bring me solace. But for the moment, I am happy and at peace.

Never mind that the sea breeze is actually just hot air issuing forth from my floor fan, and that the rustling of leaves are just sounds made by the neighbor's laundrywoman who was presently washing their clothes with vigor. Mama is not here either, but instead some unknown woman is sweeping the pavement downstairs with her walis tingting.

I wanted to hold on to the fleeting moment for just a while longer, but it faded as swiftly as it came. I emerged from my stupor and begrudgingly let go of this sweet glimpse of a fragment of home that I knew I will always carry with me in my mind's eye.

Home is where the heart is.

*To welcome the summer, this is a throwback from the previous year. I was feeling the same horrible homesickness that I always get whenever it's the beach season.